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A Thousand Cuts For Lake View's Clumsy Castle

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The castle needs more fortifications! Make haste! A torrent of needling cuts have been visited upon the seat of Lake View's royal family over a span of nearly two years. Starting out at $1.9M, the ask is all the way down to $1.35M. When we first attended to the listing, in January 2011, it was asking $1.725M. We know asking prices don't mean much, but this is still a major miscalculation by the seller. Decked out in tell-tale signs of regal delusion, the monster castle has a crenelated parapet roof, a "formal entry gallery" guarded by intimidating suits of armor, a cloudy sky-painted master bedroom, and 8,000-square-feet of escapism. Other less theme-driven features include built-in surround sound, a garage-top roof deck, patio, sauna, and five fireplaces. Oh yeah, and six each of bedrooms and baths. Which of you knights expects to seize the castle, and thus, the kingdom?
·Listing: 1725 W Belle Plaine Ave. [Coldwell Banker]
·This 8,000-Square-Foot Castle Is Looking For Its King [Curbed Chicago]