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Custom "Faux Paint" Treatments Leave Hackneyed Results

Sometimes we just can't resist. Does the relentlessly funny/scary old world villa theme make one forget his home is a borderline McMansion, or is it there to gleefully reinforce the gluttonous associations with that housing type? Perhaps it's merely aspirational. The listing does pitch the luxury finishes as those "seen in multimillion $ mansions". A cherry kitchen and a who's who of appliance makers is great and all, but what we're really shaking our heads at is the gaudy foyer and the rampant faux arched windows sporting glimpses into a simpler, more romantic olde-timey European country life (minus war, famine, and epidemic). And those pillars and chipped-building wallpaper? C'mon. We'll admit to one soft spot: the thought of a drink at that heavy-duty custom bar with a fire raging nearby makes us weak in the knees. The 5/5 new-build in northwest suburban Harwood Heights is asking $539K.
·Listing: 5053 N Oconto Ave. [American Realty & Associates]