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A Modernist Home and Some Unintelligible Realtor Speak

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If you're into modern architecture and looking for something very secluded, this modernist manse on the edge of the Cook County Forest Preserve in Palos Park is a nice option. The photos speak for themselves, so there's no need to oversell the place in the listing description, right? Wrong. Coldwell Banker agent Lorrene April goes for the gusto in one of the more mindboggling Realtor writing samples we've encountered. She begins with a bit of flattery:

"As unique are your own personal achievements in life, so are your rewards. Indulge yourself with the home and lifestyle that no other has to offer."A little unorthodox and over-the-top, but it at least makes sense. Let's take a look at the architect: "This masterful creation was designed by 'world renowned' International Architect Jo Palma of RMJM. He was formerly affiliated with Skidmore, Owings & Merrill. Palma is highly recognized for his award winning engineering brilliance and leadership ventures in the European Marketplace. Jo Palma was the Chief Architect on the new NATO Headquarters in Brussels. His influence of design envelopes the industry of High Rise Developments and Commercial Acclaimed Institutions based upon future concepts, sustainability and Iconic Global Trends. His remarkable involvement in the engineering of the blueprints for this residence is of National Commendation. Palma's 'celebrity of genius' is captivated throughout. His application of true State-of-the-Art design leaves no surface uninspired in this Palos Park Original."Now we're starting to wonder whether there's actually a human behind these words, or if a robot is at the controls. What comes next belongs in the Realtor-speak hall of fame:"Abandon the current existence of that which surrounds you. Engage upon a journey into the heart and soul of transformed dimensions and awe inspiring artful ascensions. Step forward into a world of advanced ergonomics in engineered designs comprised of timeless quality and unspeakable attractiveness. Escape into a corner of life flavored with European influences and extravagant imports. Incomprehensible beauty and lavish magnificence consumes the essence of the core upon which this home was conceived. Living and celebrating life to the highest degree of accomplished reward and gratification has found its residence." Wow. Just wow. · Listing: 9111 West 126Th Street [Coldwell Banker]